In the past decade, we’ve seen an incredible shift in how funerals are planned, personalised, and perceived. Gone are the days when every service followed the same script. Today, families are choosing farewells that reflect the unique life, values, and stories of their loved ones — from barefoot beach ceremonies to eco-friendly burials, laughter-filled celebrations, or quiet private gatherings.
At Tong & Peryer, we’ve been part of this evolution. We’ve helped create services that include everything from motorcycle processions to memory tables filled with handwritten notes, and even dogs attending to say goodbye to their human. It’s a beautiful, creative shift.
But for all the change around how we say goodbye, one thing has remained the same — grief.
Grief doesn’t follow trends. It’s as ancient and personal as love itself. Whether a funeral is formal or relaxed, modern or traditional, grief still arrives with the same weight — unexpected, overwhelming, and deeply individual.
The rituals may look different, but their purpose remains the same: to help us begin to process loss. Funerals give structure to the early days of grief. They offer a moment of pause — a gathering point for reflection, for tears, for shared stories, and for comfort.
Changing funerals to meet today’s needs is a good thing.
We now understand that a meaningful farewell is one that truly represents the person who has died — not just what tradition dictates. That’s why we work closely with families to create services that feel authentic and healing. Because when people feel seen, so does their grief.
But even in these changes, we never forget that our role is not just to organise a service. It’s to hold space for sorrow. It’s to walk with families through the early, unsteady steps of mourning. And while we can’t take away the pain, we can help make it easier to carry.
So yes — funerals are changing. They’re more personal, more flexible, and more inclusive. And that’s something to embrace. But grief? Grief is timeless.
And we’ll always be here for both.
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If you’re navigating loss and need support planning a farewell that feels right for your family, we’re here to help. At Tong & Peryer, we offer warmth, care, and a listening ear — every step of the way.
We offer the grief Cafe on every second tuesday of every second month. You can see more details here.
