What To Do When Someone Dies
To Honour | To Remember | To Heal.
We are here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
At Tong & Peryer we understand that grief can be overwhelming, and it may feel hard knowing where to start. We’re available for you round the clock, guiding you through every step of the funeral process offering compassion, advice and support.
If someone has died as a result of an accident or other sudden circumstances, then you will need to call emergency services on 1 1 1.
If someone dies at home?
When a loved one dies at home or in a place that isn’t a healthcare facility, you’ll first need to contact their doctor. The doctor will need to come to the address and complete paperwork. You will be asked at this stage whether your loved one will be buried or cremated. If you are unsure, we recommend you say cremated. You are able to change this decision later if required. We are unable to take your loved one into our care before the doctor has been and completed that paperwork. Once that paperwork is done, then call us and we can come transfer your loved one into our care.
We have a member of our funeral director staff on call 24 hours a day to ensure you have the necessary support at such a vulnerable time.
Our number is 06 878 5149 so we are only a call away
If someone dies in a healthcare facility?
If your loved one dies in a healthcare facility such as a hospital or rest home, they will notify the proper authorities, including the funeral home you have chosen to care for your loved one (if that information has been agreed). Emergency and medical personnel involved in this part of the process will help you with obtaining a medical certificate and any other necessary paperwork. When the paperwork is complete the healthcare team will contact the funeral home you have chosen to arrange for the transfer of your loved one into their care.
This part of the process is often the most emotional, and we are here to help and support you. If you’re not sure what to do, call us any time.
Our number is 06 878 5149 so we are only a call away
In the first few days following a death
Our role is to help you navigate the days following the death of your loved one. If they have pre-planned their funeral, you can gather up their wishes to share them with us so we can fulfil them for you.
Many people come to us and have their plans stored here with us, along with any pre-payment funds that we hold in trust for them. We can help you with this if that detail isn’t known.
If your loved one has not pre-planned anything, then we recommend you note down any ideas for how to celebrate and honour their life that come to mind, such as clothes they loved, music, colours, favourite plants or flowers, anything that can help make their funeral truly celebrate them as an individual. Don’f worry if you dont know that detail, we will help you work through it.
You will meet with one of our funeral directors to begin planning their service. The same funeral director will work with you through the entire process and we know that families find this continuity reassuring at such a difficult time.
At the initial arrangement meeting, we can help you with choices you will need to make, such as:
- Whether to bring your loved one home, to the marae, or keep them in our care in one of our family rooms
- Whether to embalm or not (we discuss this with you to ensure you understand what is involved, and why it may be necessary)
- The type of casket
- Burial or cremation
- If burial, which cemetery you would like them to be buried in
- If cremation, the type of urn would you like the ashes returned in
- If cremation, the location of their final resting place through burial or scattering
- Any religious considerations you may have, such as clergy or spiritual leaders or rituals or ceremonies that will need to be performed
- The types of funeral elements that are available, such as a washing and dressing, viewing, full or partial service, graveside memorial, etc.
- We work with families from a diverse range of cultural backgrounds and can provide rooms for families to dress your loved one or the space to fulfil Muslim burial protocols.
These questions are just a starting point, and you don’t need to know the answers right away. Don’t hesitate to contact us to gain a better understanding of your options. We’re here to make this process easier for you.
You’ll also want to notify close friends and relatives, both through personal phone calls as well as your loved one’s death notice. If this process is too painful for you, we recommend you ask a trusted family member or friend to help you.