Every situation is different, but be assured, we are right here whenever you need us.
When someone dies, time can feel like it both stops… and rushes forward all at once.
For many families, those first hours are a blur of emotion, uncertainty, and questions. What do we do now? Who do we call? What happens next?
At Tong & Peryer Funeral Directors, we often meet people right in this moment, and one of the most helpful things we can do is to simply bring clarity and calm.
Here’s what typically happens in the first 24 hours after someone dies.
The Moment It Happens
If someone dies in a hospital or care facility, staff will guide you through the immediate steps. If the death occurs at home, the first call is usually to a doctor or emergency services, who will confirm the death.
This part can feel confronting, but you won’t be left to figure it out alone.
Making the First Call
Once the death has been confirmed, many families choose to contact a funeral director, and this can happen sooner or later, depending on what feels right.
There’s no need to rush.
When you call us, our role is simple: to listen, to guide, and to take care of what needs to happen next. We’ll ask a few gentle questions and talk you through the next steps at your pace.
Bringing Your Loved One Into Our Care
When the time feels right, we arrange to bring your loved one into our care.
This is always done with dignity and respect. For some families, this step can feel emotional or even daunting, but it’s also the beginning of us supporting you fully.
If you’d like to spend more time with your loved one before this happens, that’s absolutely okay. There is space for that and we make sure everyone is comfortable (including the person who has died).
What Happens Behind the Scenes
While you take time to process what’s happened, we begin quietly working in the background.
This can include:
- Ensuring all legal requirements are underway (things like paperwork are recieved in full)
- Gently caring for your loved one
- Beginning the early stages of funeral planning…… again, when you’re ready. We do everything at your pace.
You don’t need to have answers straight away. There are very few urgent decisions in these first hours.
What You Can Do (And Don’t Need to Do)
In those first 24 hours, it’s okay to keep things simple.
You might:
- Sit with family or close friends
- Begin letting people know
- Take time to just be still
And just as importantly, there’s a lot you don’t need to do yet:
- You don’t need to plan the entire funeral
- You don’t need to make big decisions immediately
- You don’t need to have everything figured out
There is time. We’ll walk alongside you when you’re ready. We are here as your personal guides and we know how important that role is for you.
The Emotional Reality
There’s no “right way” to feel.
Some people cry. Some people feel numb. Some move into practical mode. Others don’t know what to do at all.
All of it is normal.
Those first 24 hours are not about getting things right, they’re about beginning to adjust to something deeply significant.
You’re Not Alone in This
One of the biggest fears people have is not knowing what happens next.
The truth is, you don’t have to carry that alone.
Our role is to guide you gently through each step, not just the practical side, but the human side too.
A Final Thought
If you take nothing else from this, let it be this:
There is no need to rush.
The first 24 hours are about presence, not pressure.
Everything else can come, one step at a time.
Need Guidance Right Now?
If someone has just died and you’re unsure what to do next, you’re welcome to call us at any time.
At Tong & Peryer Funeral Directors, we support families across the Hawke’s Bay region, whether you need immediate assistance or simply a calm voice to talk things through.
There’s no pressure, no expectations, just support when you need it most.
Call 06-878 5149, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year.
