A Personal Tribute That Reflects a Life Well Lived
By Tong and Peryer Funeral Directors
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a central part of many funerals or memorial services—a speech that honours someone’s life and legacy. It’s a personal tribute filled with memories, warmth, and often, a few tears and laughs.
If you’ve been asked to give a eulogy, it’s normal to feel unsure where to begin. At Tong and Peryer, we’ve helped many families through this process, and we’re here to guide you every step of the way. (We have even created a quiet place for you to get away to and write a eulogy within our premises).
Obituary vs. Eulogy: What’s the Difference?
An obituary is typically a public notice of death, including key dates and facts. A eulogy, however, is much more personal. It’s your opportunity to share the unique story of someone’s life in your own words, delivered during the funeral or memorial service.
How Long Should a Eulogy Be?
Short and sincere is best. Aim for about 5–7 minutes. That’s usually enough time to share a heartfelt tribute without overwhelming your audience—or yourself. If emotions rise, a shorter speech is also easier to manage.
How to Write a Eulogy in 5 Simple Steps
1. Gather Stories and Insights
Start by collecting memories. Talk to family, friends, and anyone who knew the person well. Write down moments that highlight their character, values, humour, and achievements.
2. Set the Scene: Your Introduction
Begin by acknowledging why everyone has gathered. Introduce yourself and your relationship to the person, then thank attendees for being there.
Example:
“Good afternoon. We’re here to celebrate the life of someone we all cherished. My name is John, and I had the honour of calling Doug my best mate for over 30 years. Thank you all for being here today to remember him.”
3. Share a Short Life Story
Provide a simple overview of the person’s life—where they were born, their family, major life events, or career. Keep it warm and conversational.
Example:
“Doug was born in 1954 in a small town near Albany. He was the eldest of three and loved fishing with his cousin Steve in the summers. He later met Linda, the love of his life, and together they raised three beautiful daughters.”
4. Highlight What Made Them Special
Here’s where the eulogy becomes truly personal. Talk about their quirks, passions, proudest moments, and funny or heartwarming stories. Don’t be afraid to include light humour—especially if the person was known for their laughter.
Example:
“Doug had a knack for fixing cars—and my dodgy ones kept him busy! But more than that, he gave free haircuts to people who couldn’t afford them. He never wanted thanks—he just believed in kindness.”
5. Offer a Thoughtful Goodbye
Conclude with a final reflection on what the person meant to you and those around them. Leave the audience with something comforting and memorable.
Example:
“Doug showed me what it means to be a true friend. His laughter, loyalty, and big heart made the world better. We were lucky to know him, and we’ll carry his memory with us always.”
One Final Reflection
We often think of “The Dash” by Linda Ellis—a poem that reminds us that the dash between the dates on a gravestone represents how a person lived. Your eulogy brings that dash to life.
Whether it’s through a story, a laugh, or a quiet tear, your words help everyone remember not just the date someone left, but the legacy they leave behind.
Need Help Writing a Eulogy?
At Tong and Peryer, we’re here to support you—whether you need writing help, practice reading aloud, or just a listening ear. Get in touch any time.
